


All Mouth, No Trousers!

by millygal



Category: Fandom RPF, Supernatural
Genre: Crack, Fandom, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-13
Updated: 2017-04-13
Packaged: 2018-10-18 10:03:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10614621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/millygal/pseuds/millygal
Summary: What did she ever do to deserve this as punishment?!





	

**Author's Note:**

> wings128 inspired this one, thank you honey :D there's no plot here, it's pure cracktastic box of frogs mental ;)

Sighing heavily and rolling her eyes, trying to focus on the fact she's got Dean right at the point of _no returns - no refunds_ , Milly tries desperately to ignore the 6'4" bloke with long fragrant L'Oreal style hair that keeps wafting dangerously close to the side of her face, "Sam, seriously, this is **not** helping!"

Sam, for his part, is fully aware that back seat fanfiction writing is the **one** thing that brings out the HULK side of any fangirl who's midway through her magnum opus of pervery, but he can't take it anymore, "No no no, look, Milly, I understand for entertainment's sake it's perfectly acceptable to have Dean constantly bottom, but the poor guy's gonna pull something if he keeps going like that. Give the dude a break!"

As if feeling the constant 'bounce' of Sam's hips, Dean rubs his ass and winces, "Yeah, look, fair's fair, sweetheart! Any chance we could get Sammy on his back for once? I'm the older brother, surely it makes more sense for me to be all 'Top Dog'?!"

"I am assuming that the phrase **Top Dog** is in reference to the fact that canines have to mount each other during coitus."

Grinding her teeth and holding back from banging her forehead against her keyboard, ignoring the prickling heat of Sam's breath ghosting against her neck as he chuckles behind her, Milly digs her nails into her desk top and sucks in great lung fulls of supposedly calming air, "LOOK! I completely understand that you two are slightly sick of the constant tropes and cliches, but for one, they're cliches for a _reason_! And for another, BACK OFF or I swear to Chuck I'll make Dean go down on the nearest demon, Abaddon, Meg or any of the 'hot' ones not withstanding! Don't make me make you deep throat an ugly dude demon with crappy taste in clothes!"

Castiel doesn't understand exactly why that image is so amusing but he finds himself curled into a ball, sliding down the wall, holding his aching stomach, "Milly, Milly, is there any chance you would consider having him nibble on Gabriel's..."

"STOP THAT, Cas!" Dean growls, "I'll banish your feathery ass! Don't think I won't! WHY is it always me doing questionable shit with sleazy bastards?! Sam's not a virgin ya know!"

Sam lets out a bark of laughter loud enough to scare Lucifer from his perch on top of the cupboard and is rewarded with a cat the size of a dog landing messily on his shoulders before sliding slowly down his back, leaving claw marks Dean would NEVER have believed weren't made in some nefarious way if he was watching the action with a fist shoved in his mouth to stop from out and out giggling, "Dude, least you got a little pussy!"

Seriously thinking about aiming a boot at the cat, Sam flinches and shifts sideways, making space for his brother who rests his hands along Milly's shoulders and grins wickedly when he feels her shudder, "So, you'd be willing to screw up twenty thousand words worth of near as damn it perfect porn just to shut me up? I didn't realise you had it in you, Mills!"

Castiel crowds in next to Sam, almost shunting Milly out of her seat, "I was wondering, why do I never feature in your explicit adventures? In my angelic form I am indeed as you say 'Junkless' but Jimmy has left me with a perfectly serviceable penis. Do you need me to prove it?"

Castiel takes a couple of steps away from the trio and starts fumbling with his trench coat only to be practically blown off his feet by the force of the shout Milly aims in his direction.

Nearly falling off her chair, Milly's torn between, _'Yes please sir, do prove that your penis is indeed serviceable'_ and **'FUCK SAKE WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS TWO DAYS BEFORE THE BIGBANG DEADLINE?!'** "CAS! I'm good, thanks. I'll take your word for it"

Lightning strike of inspiration smacking her square in the face, Milly smirks in the boy's direction and nods firmly.

Sam, Dean and Castiel all step away slowly, hands raised, knowing full well that anything giving rise to the evil grin plastered across their tormentor's face is never going to end well!

"Okay, _okay_! I'll make you a deal...If Sam will demonstrate the fact that Dean's capable of topping, I'll re-write the ending, otherwise, the oldest Winchester is gonna have to deal with clean up and Castiel will just have to 'amuse' himself this go round! Any takers?"

The sound of three fairly muscular men all beating a hasty retreat out of the office is far more satisfying than Milly ever realised it could be!


End file.
